What’s one positive trait you’ve gained because of BPD?
Last Updated: 21.06.2025 03:56
We were all going out this night to a fancy resteraunt.
I suffer greatly, because of BPD..
I never cut or harmed myself..
I forgave my father, and i took care of him ,until his death in 1999..my mum left us on the 29th Jan 1998.
As is all addictions, people can’t leave off.
But my sister and my other 3 brothers wouldn’t have come near him every again!
Can you name a song with the word 'why' in it?
We didn’t no it wasn;t normal life..we were isolated, and taken from Dublin in Ireland ,where our whole mothers family lived , to Liverpool in England!
So he went home with my mum to her 2 other children.
He was dying to do it , i knew.
Why hasn't Japan legalized same-sex marriage?
They are buried together, in the same grave..
But it has taught me many things other people will , never know!
I think the readers, may guess!
Who is Meghan Markle and why is she so controversial on the Internet?
At this time i had honed my heart to the same, as that of a lion and i knew i wouldn’t beg or cry ,nor plead.
I write beautiful poetry .
Everytime, i saw a chronically ill person in middle years.
How far back into your childhood can your remember and what is your favorite memory of that time?
He isn,t a very sexual person at the best of times!
I worked then as a chef ,and a very good one.
And ive living now since 2005, on disablement .(Which is a pittance)
What are some downsides to living in Newfoundland and Labrador (besides the weather)?
I couldn’t, believe it.
All the time i was locked up.
I am a twin , my twin is a boy called Alan. I had a sister and 2 other brothers
Who then, do I blame.?
I only knew my twisted world , and there, is no choice for a child but to live in it. Or Die in it!
His abuse (his own) began at 2 years of age. His mothers friend, sexually abused him, from the age of 2.
As i gave and gave ,everything to people, they began to use me.
She died young (from the stress and abuse of Big T Trauma) of liver cancer!
She was a women, a mother with her own children!.
But im dying ,and its too late for me.
But im a psyci anyway, and i read energy and people, .
He was a brick layer (when he worked at all) and he carried his tools around ,hanging from a money belt.
Is TikTok becoming a platform for soft porn?
My only sister also couldn,t make her life work.
Was to survive, this bastard.
I don,t even have a pension.
They look at me amazed ,and ask me how i could possibly know it?
I of course replied” arh beautiful!
A line in front of him, from the eldest to the youngest.
Why cant a narcissist admit when they are wrong?
Its a big thing in the States for the last 25 years.
His mum and dad ,were Alcoholics!
I have no regrets .
Taking five minutes a day to do this can improve happiness, study finds - San Francisco Chronicle
But i am married 43 years to my husband this July !
One was a lump hammer, another was a iron chisel.
As she had lost her son ,to fatty liver disease!
How do I express sarcasm in non-dialogue text when writing a fiction novel?
Its like, taking poison, and hoping the other person will die.
Then he’ d take out his beloved lump hammer ,show it to the kids.
Im dying but, im not bitter.
I was writing from the time i was a small child.
I was the most vunerable of my siblings. I was born small ,and was sickly ,and of course none of us could ever thrive!
He call us down, from where ever he stashed each one of us ,that day ! We were kept seperate.!
She wouldn,t have been !
Your thinking ,but those kids would have been street wise?
He’d bring us out ,and we would form the position .
He’d sit me down, and stand behind the chair, Then he’d make a great show of his beauty (the chesil )and place it behind my neck ,at the base!
I waited trembling.
This is soul school!.
My mum and dad in the seventies!
He said i reminded him of an old aunt ,who used to beat him, and when the menapause came, she was placed in a mental home and never was released ,until she died.
One of his many names for me was Runt .He like that it rhymed with (well you know)
And i know him well ,and every thing about him. This relationship, is the only real one iIve been able to keep!
He did pay me though, i made him (.After i’d trudged miles to get his pension ) Before ,it all was gone, over the pubs counter!
She stayed with him because she thought he,d grow out of it. He didn’t of course!
On the 31st of Jan this month .
Why ? because Trauma depletes the immune system.you get terribley ill , with chronic disease from all the horror ,and stress of it.
This is how, and why children get BPD.
As i do to all so called friends.?
I was 9 years of age.
He had many friends, who didn,t know the home devil he was, for his sake ,i never enlighted them either.
5 of us kids, and it wasn’t a big house.
He knew the spot.
Trauma never leaves you! Its actually lives in the fashia ,of the body .The connective tissue.
Like some twisted love , they where addicted to each other
I got to know the terrible awful childhood, he had himself. And his Jolly Pub Persona.
One cannot live in the past .
So whats the point in blame.
Thats was my nicest nick name for him
Mine was extreme ,and lasted 19 years
And as runt ,of the litter .Which of course, i actually was!
She found it foreign!.
It comes from Big T Trauma and is no fault of anyone who has it.
You’d think that being brought up for so long, in those terrible circumsatances ,i would know the ways of people ,and the world, but i wasn,t in , nor of the world .
But im an empath, and i help lots of people.
My family never makes their pension either.
Trauma lives in the body, as ive explained, but it actually this that kills you in the end.
She said her life with him ,was love, and spoke to me of all the passion, it had brought her.
The only way to get rid of it forgood ,is sommence therapy,
I did write a poem about him though, and my mum.
So, i spoilt her more .
The apprentership one gets in Extreme Big T Trauma childhood is insight and extreme awarness.
Even in the coal hole, i said the lines in my head..
Those are used to try and block the pain, like that of my life out..
We born here on earth , for the soul to learn , the contrast, of heaven.
The same beautiful brown eyes my mother loved so much!
I was very sick at this time too.
I had hoped to write a book about this .
For him, I cleaned and cooked and shopped, and spent the whole day, doing a weeks work) in the only day off, i had, besides Sunday.)
That life, was meant to be , as the world teaches us great lessons, and leaves us many gifts.
Then later on when my husband had gone to the bar..she started telling me, that they where having a affair, and that he loved her much more then me ,and other loads of visious lies.
My place (mostly )was the coal hole..it was a small room heaped with coal .
And i lived it daily.
But it wasn’t much.
My life is so biszare .
I was seconnd youngest,
And don,t forget my 4 months alone, in the incubator. Knowing my brother in the womb and my mother voice .The baby knows she’s alone!
She died at 55 of colon cancer.
Although he,d calmed down a bit ..he still shouted his orders at me and thought , my older sister would be better at the job..
One cannot hold on to bitterness.
Why did i forgive my father ?
But ive been too sick for many years..
I had many talking therapys , but they just don,t work.
I might have to go back 30 generations or more..
I only stopped writing poetry recently, because , of my brain tumor
One women pretended to my husband she wanted to see me for coffee ,and make friends.
I wasn’t taught any boundries, our home ,was like any war zone , and Dad told us, he had bodies buried, under the floor boards.
Where the ultimate outsiders.
Rather to engertic for me ,with my terrible health, but i was left to run the house, it was a Cottage in Dorset.
So i became my fathers slave and he hated me the most.
And as she herself ,wasn’t kissed or touched as a child.
Another so called friend had bit the dust..
Her first husband, had been a gay man ,and he was a lovely person.
What did i know ?
When he wanted one of his lessons to be taught!
My familys so full of ancestral BIG T Trauma.
Im a true spealist, because i study it for years .And i still do..
My mother wasn’t a tactile women ..only as babes could she touch us. After we grew ,she couldn,t touch any of us.
But there where , these other acts only us 2 girls, would receive, (When id have rather had his lump hammer , and chisel.).
I watched his eyes light up and his twisted smile rejoice, in his joy of it all.
Im still living with it.
I know ,a lot about trauma.
She was deluded, and thought she could stay on for the reminder of the holiday!
I said to her
We all went to grammer schools
It will be my last birthday ,as im dying of a brain tumor and 8 other autoimune diseases.
Although we always gave her a kiss on the cheek. She would shrink away from it!
We could never speak unless he spoke to us!
I forgave my father,, and in those years i cleaned and looked after him .
I let him have the joy of his friends( that i would never know myself.!)
Anyway, i told my husband ,and he was gobsmacked.
When she asked me how she looked .
I ended up cooking for her, and bringing her eveywhere with us.
I did it because my mum asked me too!
My dad was a alcholic psychopath, and violent in the extreme.
Its mostly always from childhood abuse .
He said i’d end up like her, and he laughed his big rolicking bear of a laugh!
He weighed in at 5 lbs .I was the second born, and i weighed 3 and a half pounds.
Youll pack your bags and leave Dorset.
BPD only comes to a person who has suffered childhood trauma.
Im constanly in a state of FLIGHT or FIGHT my whole life
And when you live in a life , of being terrified, and shocked, and permantly stressed; especially as a child born in to all this .
Especially a lifetime of it.
19 years ,i spent with dear old papa.
Im kind ,and give many things, inc money ,to any of persons in need. I have a groups of homeless beggars ..i help out daily. They all know me by name!
But, we were locked up after school.
The only rule us 5 kids had .
But he said ,he was sick of her anyway ,and only put up with her as i had a friend ,and seemed to be happy.
I will be 64.
Took her away on holiday ,with us, my 2 pugs her dog, a Jack Russell.
Yes, a stroke or heart attack is the reason on your death certificate.
Because , i didnt have the heart to hurt my friend.!.
She loved him until the end.
Thats being isolated in a house, locked up as a child .We never saw any people except in School and we had no relatives in Liverpool!
I could never make a relationship work though!
Do all the shopping, and cooking and look after all the dogs.
We were not on the streets..
But i went to school ,and was locked up evey evening , until he was off out on a bender..then mum would set us free, and we,d be bouncing off the walls,
He took out the hammer, and explained again, how the smallest tap ,of this hammer would kill me in a second.
As his daughter ,he didn’t even think I wouldn,t do it. (Look after him)
Ther’s very good reasons why i was left alone.
He resisted the act ,that day.
I was grabbed out of my mother hung upside down, and rushed up to the prenatal ward, to spend 4 mths alone, with, only medical staff.
But people really die of the Big T Trauma!!
Also my liver and lungs are fatally diseased!
We wern’t close any more, the family fractured, after my Mothers death, and seeing me annoyed them ,as i was the familys scapegoat..
Due to the real legacy of trauma (B.P.D)
Being very nice and never wanting to say the wrong thing.
The coal was sharp, and i usually had no underware! So my bare arse ,was cut and rossened on the coal..
She married twice! .
Because huge Trauma like mine is alive.
Anyway ,i could never hold on to a relationship.
She was in good health!
As i said though i will be 64 on my last birthday!
Ive learnt so much.
You don’ t get a state one here , in England ? until your at least 67 yrs old ! Im 63.
I was scared of men, in general
It was going to be , some day.
I immediatly know and see what their chidhood was. I tell them you had a awful time in childhood.
Would this be the day?
And who doesn’t know suffering?
Put me off passion for life!!
Insight, and i can spot a wrongin from 3 miles away.
I had offered the whole expense of the holiday to her, free.
.I left my 2 sons and my husband to do it. Instead of spending the day with them
Why do we forgive? Because if we don,t
(And it was in our own minds.)
Comes on , in middle age.
My twin will have involuntary pissed himself, but not me at least not, that day!
Stress hormones Adrenaline and Cortosol ,would have flooded my brain, and they never left it!!!!
With Catholic nuns and Church on Sundays.
And if you hold on to hate you only die inside yourself,!
She got all dolled up, but it looked as she was dressed up to play the part of , Florence Nightingale ,as she descended down the cottage stairs ,like a Queen.
I do have abandomment issues but they come from being left alone ,without my mum, or any of my family in a incubator for 4 months.
And, all my friends down the years ,where users.